On Becoming a Mother for the First Time

As I anticipate the birth of my first grandchild, I reflect on my experience of giving birth to Danielle on March 28, 1984. (Dan and I were married on July 28, 1982. I was 21 years old when I got married and 23 years old at the time of her birth. This worked well for us.) The following is what I recorded in my journal after her birth.

“What a beautiful baby! Boy, you sure had a lot of hair, real dark. I kind of knew from the start, that you would be a girl. I even bought your blessing dress before you were born. (Ultra sounds were not common then.)

The day we’d been anticipating for so long, finally arrived. I had a real easy pregnancy—a few bad headaches and a little nausea but nothing compared to a lot of women. I didn’t get real big and people always commented about that. You were a real mover. I told people you’d be a good dancer. I loved it.

When you were born, it was hard to imagine that you had actually been what had been making me fat. How did you ever survive in there and that exhilarating delivery?
No words can describe a mother’s feelings when she gives birth to a living child. It is so special. I feel excited for the next one.

I tried to nurse you for a month, but you weren’t gaining weight like you should have, so we put you on formula. You were a very good baby. You didn’t sleep through the night very good, but Daddy was always really good to take turns getting up with you. We are always so proud of you. I like to take you with me just because I can show you off. I am so glad that you are really pretty. I guess parents always worry about that!”

I’ll try and find what I wrote after each of the other children was born…Good luck Steve and Danielle. You will be great parents!

Remember Gratitude

January 27, 2008

Offering Gratitude

O Remember, Remember by President Henry B. Eyring

Today’s fourth Sunday Conference talk was given by Cindy Thompson. It was the first talk given by Pres. Eyring after he was named a counselor in the first presidency.
He tells of how he was told in his mind—not in his own voice—these words: “I’m not giving you these experiences for yourself. Write them down.”

He says, “I went inside. I took out some paper and began to write. And as I did, I understood the message I had heard in my mind. I was supposed to record for my children to read, someday in the future, how I had seen the hand of God blessing our family. And so I wrote it down, so that my children could have the memory someday when they would need it. I wrote down a few lines every day for years. Before I would write, I would ponder this question: “Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family today?” As I kept at it, something began to happen. As I would cast my mind over the day, I would see evidence of what God had done for one of us that I had not recognized in the busy moments of the day. As that happened, and it happened often, I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what He had done.

More than gratitude began to grow in my heart.
Testimony grew
I felt more gratitude for the atonement of the Savior
I grew more confident that the Holy Ghost can bring all things to our remembrance

Cindy Thompson commented that you have to learn to ponder and that it’s fun. Pres. Eyring concludes that it can change our natures as we keep our part of the promise from the Sacrament prayer to always remember Him, keep His commandments and take His name upon us. He says that “it brings me joy to remember Him!” I agree…

I shared a special experience that I had this week in Maui. It is three hours later in Hawaii so I woke early every morning, because I was used to waking up at 6:00 am which was really like 9:00 am and sleeping in there. I would go down to the beach in front of our Condo and walk along the beach to exercise and enjoy the beauty. Some days, Dan and or the children would come along, but on this day, I was alone. I had walked out on the street a few blocks and then was drawn to the beautiful ocean. I took off my walking shoes and enjoyed the feel of the sand in between my toes as I walked along the beach.

I paused and reflected on the beauty of the masterpiece painting before me as I watched the moon set and the reflection of the sun rising to the East. The clouds on the horizon looked like cotton candy with their hues of soft pink and violet against the soft blue sky.
I was overcome with gratitude for the beautiful sight before me. As I stood there, I closed my eyes and said my morning prayer, giving thanks for the beauty of the world.

When I opened my eyes, I was delighted and surprised to see a see lion (sea monk) just a few feet straight ahead of me in the shallow ocean waves having his morning bath. He frolicked in front of me for several minutes, enjoying the beautiful morning with me before swimming back into the sea. The thought ran through my mind that Heavenly Father had heard and acknowledged my prayer of gratitude and simply wanted to send me another moment of pleasure to let me know that he was happy that I enjoyed his beautiful creations.

Because of Pres. Eyring’s talk and Sis. Thompson’s lesson, I’ll record this memory for future reflection.

Please View the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DF01BQAcj8E&feature=channel

Service

Dan has been in the Bishopric of the Little Valley II ward for two months now. As he has had increased opportunities to speak publicly, I am hearing new stories from his life that I have never heard before. When asked to speak about service, he told the story of when he went to work on the Stake Beehive Farm in the Nashville stake as a youth. They had run out of protective clothing but he still wanted to help, so he buttoned up the cuffs and neck of his collared shirt, put a net over his face and went forth to help retrieve the honey from the busy honey bees.
Suddenly he felt and heard a bee frantically buzzing and stinging under the back of his shirt. Instinctively he panicked and tried to free the venomous bee from underneath his shirt. He bent over and grabbed the tails of his shirt and ripped if off his head to avoid further stings from the attacking bee as he ran from the hives toward freedom. What was left when he got far enough away and could no longer hear the buzzing of furious bees were just the tightly secured cuffs from his shirt and a few bee stings!
The moral of this story is make sure that you are prepared with the “whole armor of God” when facing a hive of bees and more importantly it is to always be willing to serve when asked and do so willing and make it fun. We have enjoyed being able to spend many hours thinning and picking peaches and apricots at the Hurricane church fruit farm and helping at the local cannery. We make a game of the situation, enjoy in lively conversation and make new friends as we enjoy the blessings of service. You can throw a few hard unripe apricots at an unsuspecting coworker or share lives experiences as you work side by side and help the hours pass far too quickly. So what if you have to arise before dawn on a Saturday morning or don a hairnet and gloves in high fashion. Service always brings more blessings than the sacrifice offered.

Don't Give Up What You Want Most, for What You Want Now!

I first found this thought on a sign hanging in my room at the old Millcreek High School in Washington when I first started teaching there. It became my motto as a teacher to share with my students the secret of how to find success and make it to the finish line of high school graduation. It hangs in my current classroom and on the bulletin board in my son’s room.
When asked by a classmate if you want to sluff next period and go get breakfast, think about what you want most. Is getting a sluff and a potential No Grade taking you closer to your goal of graduation? If it is not, be tuff and say no, let’s wait for the lunch break and then go.
When the alarm goes off in the morning and you haven’t had much sleep, overrule the idea of turning off the alarm and going back to sleep with the notion that going to school is going to get you closer to your dream.
When you are tempted to drop out of college and take a job that pays pretty decent money, DON’T! Think of the 40 plus years that you are going to spend in the workforce and increase in salary that you will get if you have a degree on your resume! Put off the temptation to give up and go for the diploma!
When you want to give into satisfying that sweet tooth and indulge in massive calorie intake while dieting, don’t! Remember what you want most is to fit into that summer swimming suit without feeling uncomfortable.
When you are dating that someone special and are tempted to become a little too intimate, Don’t! Remember that goal of being sealed for all time and eternity in the House of the Lord will bring far greater pleasure and happiness.
Remember what you want most and don’t give in to the short term pleasure! The long term goal is worth waiting for.

Take Time to Live Your Life

Probably no other complaint is voiced more often than not having enough time.
“I don’t have time to pursue my dreams or to even know what my dreams are. I don’t have time for me, for my family and friends. Basically, I don’t have time to live my life.”

Passion is the ultimate time management tool for two reasons. First, when you are doing what you love, who cares about time? When you are with someone special, or listening to a great piece of music, or painting or volunteering, doesn’t time just fly by? Second, when you are doing what you love it often gets done faster.

The way we spend our time is the way we spend our lives. Can you slow down enough to get “in synch” with life, nature, and most importantly, yourself? Tune in to your rhythm and natural pulse. Take off your watch and give yourself a day off. Eat when you’re hungry and sleep when you’re tired so you can discover who you are, what you need and what works best for you.

Make a date with yourself, every day if possible. Even if for only a half hour, carving out time for you is a great act of generosity. Your work can usually wait a half hour, but your soul can’t.

Whether we like it or not, the clock keeps ticking so live fully, every single second of every single day. Learn the true joy of doing less and having more as you experience each day as priceless. Fill your life with as many precious moments and experiences of joy and passion as you humanly can.


(An excerpt from Dreams Are Whispers from the Soul)

Lesson from The Can Lady

When I was in high school there wasn’t that much to do for excitement if you didn’t drink, get high, or break the law. I’m talking living on the edge excitement. Well, one thing that we found to do, I am not very proud of. In the Logan area in 1977-79 ish, there was a homeless lady that everyone called ‘the can lady.’ You would see her around the area with a big sack that she used to collect cans in. I’m sure that she turned these in to the recycling place for cash so she could have a little money to sustain herself with.
Well, on nights when we were bored with dragging main and wanted to do something else exciting, we would go in search of ‘the can lady’ and try to sneak up close to her and snap a picture of her. It is not like we thought that she might hurt us, it was just the adrenaline rush of getting into someone’s private space and stealing a picture.
She could usually be found in a park or public street looking for those inestimable cans. We’d take our little Kodak 110 $20.00 cameras and proceed with our investigative photography. We’d sneak close, snap a picture and then take off. We found that when we got close to her and saw her face that she resembled a deer. Obviously she had been in some kind of an accident and had somehow had her face deformed by fire or other life changing event. She always wore a scarf around her head so it was very difficult to see her deformed face. Thus the excitement of the mission.
We probably had five or six successful missions over a two year time frame. This was just a random Friday or Saturday night past time. On one particular evening, my view of the ‘can lady’ changed as I snuck up close on my prey, secured my picture, and proceeded to make my departure. It was when I was close enough to catch the view of a small watery glimmer running down her face, below her eye, that I realized that she had a tear on her face. She was a human being, not an animal to be stalked! Here I was a Young Woman of Excellence who Stands for Truth and Righteousness, a Child of God; torturing another of our Heavenly Father’s creations. I took a giant step backward! I was slapped in the face with my unkindly acts. How could I be so demeaning and cruel?
I ran back to the waiting getaway car, reported my findings and immediately felt repentant. How could I possibly make up for my actions? My only thought for the moment was to go and give her something and ask for forgiveness. I took the few dollars that I had for my late night slurpee run and took the long, uneasy walk back to my fellow ‘sister’, the can lady. I spoke to her back and told her that I was sorry and dropped my small token of penance and left a changed person, never to harass a less fortunate person again.
Last night I attended the movie “The Soloist.” It is the true story of a homeless man in downtown LA. He was a gifted musician who happened to be plagued with mental illness. The movie was very powerful and again reminded me that all these people are children of God.
The lesson to be learned is to never judge another human being. Reach out with a lifting hand to all. Yes, they may take your small donation and go buy liquor or they may be able to buy a hot sandwich off the value menu and receive a small sustenance that will help them face another lonely day.

A Mission Changes Your Perception of Yourself

One thing I remember about my mission was how it gave me a perspective on myself. You can learn a lot from other missionaries that you can try to incorporate in your life to help you improve. Quite often you can see others mistakes and avoid making them yourself. It helps to make you a better missionary and prepares you for your future life. It will help you to make good decisions in the future that will lead you to achieve your goals. A lot of growth comes from the experiences of your mission.
The most valuable lessons often come at a high price. Sometimes you have to be very patient to learn patience, or you may have to be very humbled to learn humility. Many of the great attributes that we know the Savior has must be experienced to become your strength as well. A mission is a great controlled environment to give you these opportunities for growth that will define you for the rest of your life. You may never get this kind of training again. It’s like a one on one training relationship with the Savior in an environment where he can give you the most attention.
It’s like in the movie Karate Kid where Daniel is painting Mr. Miyagi’s fences and sanding his decks and washing his car so that he can learn Karate from the Master Miyagi. All the time he is doing this waiting for Mr. Miyagi’s great lessons, he doesn’t realize he is already being taught. While you are experiencing some really great lessons and also some trying lessons you are being prepared for the even greater lessons that are to come in an environment that the Savior can best teach you in. You are in his loving care, and he is very mindful of you and how he is preparing you for many great things to come. You will learn so much.
Enjoy your training as you learn from the greatest master teacher you can have while in the exact place he wants you to be doing exactly what he wants you to do. I love you and know that some of the lessons you learn are difficult, but I have confidence in you and I know how tough you are. YOU WILL BE GREAT.
Love, Dad
(Dan’s advice to Lindsey while serving in the Vancouver, BC, Canada Mission, 2008)

To a Child, Love is Spelled T-I-M-E

In the faint light of the attic, an old man, tall and stooped, bent his great frame and made his way to a stack of boxes that sat near one of the little half-windows. Brushing aside a wisp of cobwebs, he tilted the top box toward the light and began to carefully lift out one old photograph album after another. Eyes once bright but now dim searched longingly for the source that had drawn him here.
It began with the fond recollection of the love of his life, long gone, and somewhere in these albums was a photo of her he hoped to rediscover. Silent as a mouse, he patiently opened the long buried treasures and soon was lost in a sea of memories. Although his world had not stopped spinning when his wife left it, the past was more alive in his heart than his present aloneness.
Setting aside one of the dusty albums, he pulled from the box what appeared to be a journal from his grown son's childhood. He could not recall ever having seen it before, or that his son had ever kept a journal. Why did Elizabeth always save the children's old junk? he wondered, shaking his white head.
Opening the yellowed pages, he glanced over a short reading, and his lips curved in an unconscious smile. Even his eyes brightened as he read the words that spoke clear and sweet to his soul. It was the voice of the little boy who had grown up far too fast in this very house, and whose voice had grown fainter and fainter over the years. In the utter silence of the attic, the words of a guileless six-year-old worked their magic and carried the old man back to a time almost totally forgotten.
Entry after entry stirred a sentimental hunger in his heart like the longing a gardener feels in the winter for the fragrance of spring flowers. But it was accompanied by the painful memory that his son's simple recollections of those days were far different from his own. But how different?
Reminded that he had kept a daily journal of his business activities over the years, he closed his son's journal and turned to leave, having forgotten the cherished photo that originally triggered his search. Hunched over to keep from bumping his head on the rafters, the old man stepped to the wooden stairway and made his descent, then headed down a carpeted stairway that led to the den.
Opening a glass cabinet door, he reached in and pulled out an old business journal. Turning, he sat down at his desk and placed the two journals beside each other. His was leather-bound and engraved neatly with his name in gold, while his son's was tattered and the name "Jimmy" had been nearly scuffed from its surface. He ran a long skinny finger over the letters, as though he could restore what had been worn away with time and use.
As he opened his journal, the old man's eyes fell upon an inscription that stood out because it was so brief in comparison to other days. In his own neat handwriting were these words:
Wasted the whole day fishing with Jimmy. Didn't catch a thing.
With a deep sigh and a shaking hand, he took Jimmy's journal and found the boy's entry for the same day, June 4. Large scrawling letters, pressed deeply into the paper, read:
Went fishing with my dad. Best day of my life.