When Pres. Ricks called me and asked me to speak tonight, I was in a Philadelphia hospital welcoming my 2nd grandchild into this world-- an uncertain, troubled world that has parents today concerned for the future of their children.
I have the opportunity to teach at Millcreek High School, the alternative high school for our district.
A few weeks ago students were talking in my class and one young lady commented that she was born “high”. Several of us asked what she meant by that. She said that on the way to the hospital her mother was in labor pain and her grandmother rolled a joint for her and her expecting mother smoked it. So yes, as a baby she was born high! That’s nothing, another boy spoke up, I was born in prison. He went on to explain that his mother was incarcerated for a federal offence, and yes she actually delivered him in prison!
Both of these examples are a pretty tough way to start this life. In contrast to being born “high” or in prison most of us were blessed to be ‘born in the covenant’ and our children were lucky enough to be born in the covenant.
Children born to parents who have been sealed in the temple are born in the covenant. These children automatically become part of an eternal family. Children who are not born in the covenant can also become part of an eternal family once their natural or adoptive parents have been sealed to one another in the temple.
I am so blessed to be privileged to work with the outstanding youth and their leaders in our stake. We have magnificent youth, who are flourishing despite the turbulent and even toxic times we live in.
As the Young Women stand and recite their theme each week they state that they will “make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple and enjoy the blessings of exaltation”.
So what are their covenants? Last Sunday I was able to attend the beautiful sacred baptism of three 8 year old boys from our ward. They were prepared and knew all of the answers when quizzed. Most of us have entered the waters of baptism and taken these covenants. Now each Sunday we have the opportunity to renew these covenants as we reflect on our week and resolve to do better. We covenant to “ Always remember him and to keep his commandments.”
We in turn are promised that we MAY always have his spirit to be with us. The key word here is MAY. It does not say we will, but we have the opportunity and if we have the desire for it, and if we live worthy of his spirit. What a blessing this can be in our life to “Always have his spirit to be with us”.
If you’ve ever not had his spirit at a time of contention or sin, you realize what a great blessing it is. One morning last week, I was at school and things just weren’t going well. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Then I realized that I had forgotten to say my morning prayers. I have this little routine that I do every morning, and my routine had gotten thrown off a bit that morning. Having the faith and desire to have the Lord’s help that day, I closed my eyes and offered my morning prayer at my desk. Amazingly enough, my day turned around and I actually had a fabulous day. Yes, I covenant each Sunday that I May always have his spirit to be with me because I know I need his guidance in my life.
On Fast Sunday in my ward, the young people get up and share examples of how the Lord has blessed their lives through prayer. Have we taught our children to pray daily and seek his guidance? I’ll never forget this visual picture I have of my Son Dawson, dressed in his tuxedo and ready for his Prom date and as I walked past his room just before he left, I saw him kneeling and offering a prayer. I didn’t worry about him at all on that date because I knew that he had invited the spirit on that date.
Just as the Lord provided the Liahona to the people of Nephi’s time to guide them; he provides a prophet to guide us. Through modern revelation we can be led to ‘the more fertile parts’ as it states in Nephi 16:16. We will get through this life one way or another; wouldn’t it be better to have the guidance of our leaders to make the trip easier.
I testify that our prophet gives us direction for our times. For example, the Proclamation on the Family, how our world has needed this as of late. The strength of Youth Pamphlet is a blueprint for our youth, we have temples that dot the earth, the Virtue Value was added as the world has lost all manner of Virtue. Yes, our prophets are the Liahona of our time.
I would like to enlist your help to anchor our youth to the hope and strength of the gospel in these turbulent times; Sister Elaine Dalton in the last general conference even went so far as to call them Toxic times. As parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters we must all be on board to help.
Sis. Dalton has asked each young woman to read from the book of Mormon daily. I am attempting to do this as well and have recently started in 1st Nephi again. Interestingly enough, I had decided to study and record the covenants and promises that the Lord gives in the book of Mormon as I read. I believe that God keeps his word and I am fascinated by the promises that are tied to keeping the commandments and covenants. Promises such as “ye shall prosper” and that “he doth nourish them, and strengthen them and provide means whereby they can accomplish the things which he has commanded them.” I want to have the blessings of these promises in my life. If we do our part, the Lord is bound. When we do what he says, we have his promise. When we start to understand the glory and safety, promised if we keep the commandments and our covenants we should surely be more motivated to do so.
I am so grateful for goodly parents who have taught me faith and shown by their example how these blessings can be realized. When I was young, my parents clung to the prophet’s words to have family scripture study and Family Home Evening knowing that there was a promise to those who did.
In their retired years they have headed the prophet’s call to serve a mission and have since worked in the Logan temple weekly for 12 years. I bear witness that our families have been blessed through their service. Grandparents, there is much you can do to help your grand children through heeding the call to serve a mission, work in the temple and do Family History work. Read and ponder the blessings that are promised to your families when you do. I’m sure that many of you can also testify of this truth.
Invite your teenage grandkids to have lunch with you one on one. Write them a sweet note encouraging them. Tell them the story of how you fell in love with your eternal companion so many years ago. They need to hear your story of dating and romance. Let them know reality isn’t Hollywood vampire romances and Kirdashion love drama.
My kids love to hear Grandma Flake tell the story of how she fell in love with her future husband when she heard him bear his testimony for the first time.
Last Sunday I attended the Meadow Valley YW Night of Excellence. The girls had chosen a scripture and a black and white theme. They taught that you have to avoid the gray areas; there is only black and white, goodness and sin. The divide has grown wider. You cannot sit on the fence or get dangerously close to the line of sin.
So how can we help anchor our Youth in a turbulent world?
1. Parents and Leaders-- have your youth write down their standards. In Sis. Daltons’ talk in the General YW meeting last March she said: Write down your standards and only make those big decisions once.
2. Read the Book of Mormon Daily. Last week a young women at the 7th ward’s Night of Excellence bore a strong testimony of her experience reading the book of Mormon for her Virtue Value. It was a daunting undertaking at first, a little more than a 10 hour project. But how better to learn about Virtue than by gaining a testimony of the power of God and of feeling his spirit experienced through the reading of the Book of Mormon.
3. Pray to have the spirit for direction as a parent. Don’t start your day without a prayer.
4. Encourage youth to have their own current temple recommend. Many of our youth, including my 17 year old son, go to the temple every Wednesday morning before school to perform baptisms for the dead. Many of our youth have headed Elder Bednar’s advice and are turning their hearts to their fathers by doing indexing and family history.
5 Dress Modestly ALWAYS. Moms, girls model your example so always dress modestly! Be an example. Don’t buy that cute dress for the prom because it is just this once and she looks so cute. Start at an early age by carefully helping your girls choose their clothing.
The 2nd ward Laurels recently went on a shopping trip to look for and try on Modest Prom dresses. What they found out is, there aren’t very many of them. Even if you wear a jacket with them, many are still too low cut and suggestive. You may have to sew or alter a dress to make it modest. As a mother of several boys; I know how uneasy it is for young men when they are with a date that is not dressed appropriately.
Dad’s this is where you must heed the call to be Guardians of Virtue. Parents get on LDS.org and watch Sis. Daltons talk on Fathers being Guardians of Virtue from the October conference.
I appreciate my father trying to help me years ago in the late 70’s when hot pants and such were in style. He told me on occasion that I couldn’t go out looking like that or that I needed to wear longer shorts and cover myself. “ Oh Dad”, I would say, “that is all there is to buy; it is in style”.
One day I came home and found this sign hanging in my room. My Dad who had probable never picked up a marker in his life, went to the trouble to hand write this quote from Pres. David O. McKay, “ Dress Modestly, Your Heavenly Father is Watching. “ Do you think that I could tell that my father loved me? That he cared and that he was serious. Why do you think that I have saved this for 30 years?
I only wish that he would have gone a step farther and spoken to me about why I needed to dress modestly. I had no idea what immodest dress did to boys and men, what it caused them to think and feel. I just thought I was cute and in fashion.
Many youth today are having sex as casually as we used to hold hands. It is a game of personal selfishness where boys and girls get together and make out or sleep together as a sport. There is absolutely no commitment involved. I am with youth in our community and this is the reality they are in.
Just this week I learned of two more of my students who are now expecting a baby. I spoke with one l young girl on Thursday and asked her if the Young man was still in her life. She answered yes; I was happy to hear that because it is quite rare that young men hang around. Then I asked her how long they had been dating. She replied that had been 10 days!
Everything our youth see portrayed in the media is distorted from real love and relationships. You must teach them in your home about the sacredness of procreation, the importance of relationships, and the difference between lust and love. I attended a class at Education Week and was shocked to hear of the many disciplinary actions because of immorality among our “good kids” attending BYU.
The Strength of Youth Pamphlet does not become obsolete when youth turn 18. It becomes even more needed. When our kids go off and away to college; they are faced with temptations of all kinds in the real world. Do not participate in passionate kissing, do not lay down by one another and watch movies, do not participate in NCMO sessions. (Non committal make out sessions)
Sister Dalton tells fathers, if your daughter doesn’t come home on time, “Go and get her!” I remember my father coming down and pulling me over when I was dragging main in Logan, and telling me to get home. I was mad at him at the time; but again, I knew that he loved me and cared about me.
I love Boyd K. Packer’s recent conference talk, “Counsel to Youth”. He tells of joining the Air Force and being worried about going into war and if he’d come home alive. He received a patriarchal blessing promising him that IF he heeded the promptings of the Holy Ghost and kept the commandments that he would return home again to be united with his loved ones. That was a big IF. We have that same promise given to us, IF we do these things and live worthily, we can return and live with our families and with God again.
In 1 Nephi 18, Nephi sets out to try and build the ship, with no knowledge or experience. (Think about raising your family here) Nephi says, and the Lord did show me from time to time after what manner I should work the timbers of the ship. (Think General Conference twice a year) Nephi says, “I did not work the timbers after the manner which was learned by men, neither did I build the ship after the manner of men; but I did build it after the manner which the Lord had shown unto me; wherefore, it was not after the manner of men.
This is the key to raising families in today’s turbulent world. We cannot follow the manner of man. We have the scriptures, we have the word of the Living prophets, and if we keep the commandments and the covenants we’ve made, we MAY always have his spirit to be with us. Covenants are a two way promise and if becomes a big IF.
Brothers and sister, I testify that if we read the Book of Mormon daily, step up our efforts in our families and be true Guardians of Virtue, we can return with our families to live with our Heavenly Father again. May you resolve tonight to take something that has spoken to you through the spirit and try a little harder to be a little better; our children’s futures are at stake.
Since I am a teacher, I want to end by giving you a homework assignment.
1. Get your teenagers together on a Sunday night or for Family night and watch Pres. Packer’s “Council to the Youth” talk from October conference. Talk about the big IF.
2. Sit down one on one with your youth and watch Chastity: What are the limits? On YouTube or youth.lds.org. and then have a candid conversation with your kids.
3. Help your kids know the Savior and apply the atonement in their lives.
4. Lastly , Men, watch and listen to Sis. Dalton’s talk about being Guardians of Virtue, She says, “how can a father raise a happy, well-adjusted daughter in today’s increasingly toxic world? The answer has been taught by the Lord’s prophets. …The most important thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother.”
Elder Scott put it this way in April Conference, “Tell your wife how very much you love her. Don’t withhold those natural expressions of love. And it works a lot better if you are holding her close while you tell her.
5. If you are married your assignment is to go home and passionately kiss your wife. ..because you can!
